I have already noted in my statuses about this, but to double-up, my first comic - "test comic" as I have been calling it - is finally done in the first iteration. About two dozen pages coloured, the entire thing lined, now I can support good uploads, and only lack a schedule and a cover for it (WIP by now), and since it takes two days per page to colour, I might be good to upload and feel shame about it, because it didn't turn out that well. Not in the terms of visuals - I'd never judge a comic book based on the art myself - but the story.
The second comic was supposed to be in another universe... and not what it is now. I did have a story for a very, very long webcomic to go, but in the end I looked at it, and realised that there was no real atmosphere there, and it needs to be worked on. What did have atmosphere, was a very old side-project I had much passion about back in the days when I was optimistic about the RP thing and thought that getting a loyal partner is easy, because that is how it started. As a RP. I've been writing it and sketching the intro chapter, when a stray thought visited my mind: but what if the MC was a woman? And that thought turned everything to shit.
I know that maybe at this point some passionate ladies already started typing out swear words my way - how dare I, after all? - but it' maybe not because of what one might think.
Was the original character a male, and am I loyal to source material? Yes.
Do I like cool badass women? Also yes.
So what do I do, I started thinking. There is a small mercantile thing in me I did not want to publicly admit, which says: if your both characters are male, you'll be supporting your previous target audience of gay men and yaoi girls (which is, true, for some reason that ended up to be my TA a few years back), and being consistent is good. Even though no real romance is planned for the MCs, but you know how it goes, don't let me prevent you from googling "Good Omens" or MCU fanart. And there is also the fact that the MC is kind of masculine, as a character. Personality-wise, not appearance-wise. It is needed for the plot. And though being masculine is quite prevalent among women as well - tbh, in real life I prefer to surround myself with such people - when it comes to media, I dislike this very much. It is as if to make a strong female charter you should whether make her physically strong, or make her masculine. Which is, again, an okay thing to do, but you know what I crave so much? I crave a character who is strong because of their femininity. Kind of stereotypical female qualities you can read about or listen to in Joseph Campbell's books and lectures. Compassion, tolerance, generosity, empathy, care. All those qualities can make for a very fresh main character, and the closest it got was (un)surpisingly a male MC in the first "Fantastic Beasts", as Newt expresses most if not all feminine qualities there, and near to none of masculine, and I cannot tell you how happy I was to see something like that. And I'd like that. I'd like to see a strong female character in media who'd be strong because of her femininity, not despite it. It seems a taboo at this point.
I won't be doing that if I'll make the MC of the next comic a lady. I don't think anything changes at all if a gender would be swapped one way or another, and do I want to despise myself for creating a lead and not taking this opportunity? E-e-eh, might get over it.
Funnily enough, the original 'big' comic was supposed to have such a compassionate, nurturing, caring leading lady. But it's put aside before I can figure out the feel and the atmosphere I want. It didn't feel... complete, so to speak. It had quite consistent backstory, lore, and rules of the universe, but at the same time, they felt torn from one another, as if, looked separately, they belonged to different media. Something I shall figure out sooner or later, I'm working on it.
But for now I am doubting myself, trying to decide: is D. going to be male or female? Wither has benefits and flaws, which do not outweigh one or the other option.